"I looked up to see if you were taking the test and I noticed you weren’t there"
the world is incredible. there are girls in this world, and there are also dogs. you can put melted cheese on any type of potato. sometimes flowers grow even when nobody is there to water them. right now on this same planet where we live there are people who are in love with each other kissing each other on the nose. emotions and colours are both things that exist. everything is so great
Ok so I have come to terms with the fact that I hate life and I don’t want to do anything. Everything is so stressful and overwhelming to my poor anxious soul and that just makes me want to run and hide from problems which makes them worse because even though I treat them as if they don’t exist they most definitely do and when I ignore them it gets worse. I have to face them someday, and everyday I decide not the problem grows bigger. Mainly school. I hate high school. I don’t want to do anything, I will willingly fail all my classes this year. I keep saying next year will be a new start but I’m good to community college and I can already tell I won’t take seriously and I’ll just fuck up even more. I try to be hardworking but I feel like a sim whose traits are “lazy” and “tired” and I don’t know how to change them and the simple answer to that is to work hard and stay on top of my tasks but my brain just doesn’t know how to do that.
I’m really sad about my future and I think that me giving up, my loss of all motivation, is just depression. Worse than when I was really sad 2 summers ago. A grey cloud hangs over the bright future I used to see for myself and I don’t want to go to the real world I don’t know how to be a good person that has everything under control I just want to avoid responsibilities at all costs and I want to fix that but I don’t even know how.
This is stupid. Life is stupid.